THE DEADLINE CAFÉ EPISODE #24

Jimmy D called the café mid-morning for his drive-through quickie and when he rolled up in the side alley, Hank was already waiting there with a jelly donut and the cuppa Joe on the Go, one sugar, splash of milk, lidded and the no-skid coffee condom keeping it all warm.

“Some weather, you know?” Jimmy said as the window slid open.

“How could I miss it, Jimmy? I’m out here standing in it. The date says spring, but I’m not feeling it.”

“Lissa get those tickets?”

“Like Sergei says, ‘You wouldn’t believe.’ Box seats behind the Cubs dugout.”

“How the fridge’d she get ‘em?”

This was the part Hank hated.

“That movie star. You remember? Here last week, supposed to be following me around, learning about cafés?”

“Right right…”

“Well, it was more like he was hound-dogging her. Anyway, before he left on Sunday she sweet-talked him into getting her two tickets.”

“Amazing.”

Hank buttoned up his cardigan and crossed his arms against the cold spring air, “Listen, Jimmy. I hate to change the subject, but are you making any progress on this countdown business? I mean, you know, it’s only three weeks until, well, until whatever’s supposed to happen.”

Jimmy wiped a splotch of jelly off his chin and brushed the powdered sugar off his uniform.  “Well, I’ve been talking to Leila about this and, well, you know her, she has this theory…”

Hank looked at his watch then put his hands in his pockets and said, “Can you cut to the chase?  I’m freezing out here.”

“Hop in the cruiser,” Jimmy said. Hank heard the door lock click open as he rounded the car and took a seat in front next to Jimmy, whose uniform looked like the jelly donut had rolled down the embankment that was his Northwestern Police jacket.

“Spill it, Jimmy.”

“Ok, brace yourself, and I mean, like, this isn’t all Leila, you know—I mean I’ve been out there myself, doing a lot of checking around town, keeping my eyes and ears open, too. Not just on campus.”

Hank picked up the paper napkin and leaned over to brush off the donut powder that circled Jimmy’s mouth.

“Thanks. What I’m trying to say here is that Leila thinks, I mean, I think, we think, that it’s an inside job.”

Hank reached for the door handle. “You are nuts, Jimmy, both of you. What? Are you kidding me? Lissa? Oakey?”

Jimmy tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, then turned to Hank and said, “Oakey didn’t start with you guys until after the notes started showing up. And no one’s been able to match the fingerprints to anyone. Not yet, anyway. And how about you? Maybe it’s you?"

“Jeez, Jimmy, I’m wasting my time.” Hank went for the door again.

“But you still got a lot of regulars.”

“Who? The Whittler? No way. ” Hank continued, “Oh, wait, I should have thought of her, right there in front of us all the time—Mrs. Worthley!  No, it’s one of the Knotty Knitters! Or that grad student! Or the kid Oakey was dating, that engineering student. He still comes around now and then. Who else?”

Jimmy turned to look Hank right in the eyes. “Ever consider the professor?”

“Oh, now I know you’re nuts,” Hank said. “I’ve heard enough.” And he jumped out of the car.

***

Inside, Oakey was taking advantage of the brief intermission between the early morning rush and the mid-morning coffee break and working on her latte art using a new two-handed technique. Lissa was watching.

“Wow. That’s great. If you don’t mind my saying, it looks, well…”

“Asian?” Oakey asked.

“Right, Asian. I mean, really, it’s beautiful.”

“I call it Spring Love Blossom. I close my eyes and think of that and then I gesture smoothly across the foam. I pretend to be a gentle spring breeze over the East Sea. And that is what appears.”

“Look, Oakey, if you do that at the barista challenge in a few weeks, wow, I think you could win. Really.”

“You are very kind to me, Lissa.”

“No, really,” Lissa said. “What do you call it again? ‘Spring Love Blossom’? How perfect is that?”

In the back room, Bobby, the thief-turned-busboy, struggled to put on the giant roasted coffee bean outfit. Hank had promised the kid he’d earn double time on his community service if he’d wear the outfit for an hour around noon every other day, carrying a sign that read,

“For Real Coffee - Drink Café Coffee!

Our Midwest Blend is All Flavor

Say ‘Nada Nada’ to Yada Yada!”

Just as the kid finished wiggling into the big bean, Hank came in to check it out: “That’s great Bobby, now be sure to hit all the cafés and like I said, hit Yada Yada twice.”

The kid gave Hank a look that said, ‘You’ve gotta be kidding me…” but Hank countered, “Two words, Bobby: ‘double community service.’ ”

“That’s three words, Hank,” Bobby muttered.

“Who’s counting? We’re in a coffee war and you’re on the front line! Look at it this way: you’re in the batter’s box at Wrigley, it’s two outs, bottom of the 9th, game tied, man on third and you’re up. The flags on the scoreboard tell you the wind’s blowing out to left field. So get out there and hit it into the ivy. No time to waste.” .